Simply Amazing

I was greatly touched by this post that I read this morning.  I just had to share it with you all.  If you recall, one of Alexis's friends/classmates from 1st grade was diagnosed with Leukemia about a year and a half ago.  This is a very powerful post from Raquel's amazing mother:

On Friday while in for chemo Dr. Hill once again examined the lump on Raquel’s shoulder (to be more specific the bottom of her neck/top of shoulder area). His immediate reaction to proceed with removing it suddenly pricked me with anxiety. It is not necessarily in my nature to become anxious or fearful. But in that moment it happened. I tried to remain calm and mindful of my expressions because I knew Raquel was watching me and I also don’t like to be emotional in front of the doctors. I turned to look at Raquel & she just nodded as the doctor spoke to her. Doc said “nothing to worry about, let’s just find out what it is”. Although this was my desire, to know “what” this is and for it to be gone, the fact that we were faced with another “unknown” made me uneasy.

R​aquel is so great. Both of my girls are. I tell God so many times how much I am blessed, I don’t deserve the beautiful gifts he has given me in them. They are so strong and they help us to be strong. When I wanted to be weak in that moment I looked to Raquel who was standing firm and accepting this next step. That night while explaining to Alex the details of our day, I admitted that it was a hard day for me, and being the wonderful husband that he is, he prayed and comforted me.

Today we went in, and the surgeon examined the lump which she believes to be a benign tumor. She does not think it has anything to do with leukemia. She said it doesn’t have to be removed immediately​, however, the longer we wait the bigger the scar since we see that it keeps growing. If it is what she thinks it is, it will continue to grow until it is removed. The plan at this point is to have the surgery the same day as her next spinal tap and IV chemo, hopefully Friday, March 5. They will put her out for both and she should go home that day. My prayer is that God removes the lump Himself before any surgery!

​Last week a few nights before her chemo appt I had a dream. I rarely remember my dreams any more, but this was so clear and real… There was a huge storm going on outside one night & the girls & I were at home. We were going to have to go out into the middle of it for some reason. So I turned off the house alarm & opened the front door & a stray cat came running in our house. We were in such a rush we didn’t have time to go catch it, but I left the front door open to run upstairs to grab something from my bedroom. When I was in there suddenly a large solid door came down in the hallway that trapped me upstairs away from the girls. There was an intruder in our home and I began to panic. I went to the alarm upstairs and held down the panic button to call for help and my heart was beating so hard. It was all out of my control and I could do nothing but wait. Then I woke up & my heart was beating so fast & I just started praying scriptures to overcome my fear. I got up & asked God what that was about??? And my answer was so clear: If you let your guard down the enemy has a chance to get in.

I pray every day and read God’s Word, but I tell you I must have been weak in those moments on Friday, because I let fear and anxiety in. Fear is not from the Lord. In church on Sunday our guest speaker spoke about the story of Elijah in the Bible, and how even after all that God did to protect, provide and bless Elijah, he still faced problems that made him run away instead of being still and trusting God. He needed to remember all that God had already done, and rely on that… knowing that his God was sovereign. The moment I heard that message I realized that’s what I had done. I must have forgotten in that moment who God is and all that He has already done, for Raquel and for all of us. God’s faithfulnes​s in our past gives us hope for the future. I was magnifying the lump instead of magnifying my God. I let down my guard and became distracted, letting the enemy in while taking my focus off of Jesus. This circumstanc​e is out of my control and I must continue to trust. I felt a peace come over me on Sunday and thanked God for His patience with his forgetful daughter.

Today as we walked into the surgery center and spoke to the receptionis​t, she had me write down everything I knew about Raquel’s diagnosis, medications​, and surgeries. I don’t usually have to do that since the oncology clinic always knows everything about her. Just the act of going through all that (and meeting again with the same surgeon who placed her port the day after dx) brought back some emotions from her initial dx a year & half ago. That was so hard. But God gently reminded me not to let go of that peace. There were 2 little boys in that waiting room with us today. Both of them were named “Elijah”.

Wow........