I wanted to expand on the verse I ended with in my last post and relate it to my reflections on the past year and my hopes for the year to come.
1 Peter 1: 6-8 (NLT)
6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.
7 These trials will show you that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
8 You love Him even though you have never seen Him. Though you do not see Him now, you trust Him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.
I remember at the close of 2011 saying to Ryan that I expected, after everything we had been through the last few years, that 2012 was going to be a great year for us...we deserved it, after all. Looking back at 2012 it would be easy to assume that the exact opposite was in fact true...that 2012 could be considered the worst yet. I don't see it that way. I see it as a year filled with too many blessings to count. Am I crazy? Many in our society would definitely think I need to get a psychological evaluation. Who in their right mind would dare to say that a year in which their child was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness has been one of the best years in their lives? Maybe a deeper look into the verses above will let you in on the inner workings of my mind and spirit.
Verse 6
It starts off with the statement "be TRULY glad." Don't just seem happy on the outside...be grateful and joyous on the inside, no matter what you are facing at the current time. Why? Look ahead. Even though things may be tough at this point in time, it is temporary. If you are truly saved, there is so much to look forward to.
(I use commentaries occasionally in my personal Bible studies and following is taken from "The Bible Knowledge Commentary")
A living hope results in a present joy. Peter encouraged his readers to put their knowledge into practice. Knowledge alone cannot produce the great joy of experiential security and freedom from fear in the face of persecution. Meaning, we can study the Bible and go to church and gain tons of knowledge, but the best lessons are learned through experience and leaning on the Lord through the tough times. That will strengthen our faith.
Christians are responsible to respond in faith. Faith turns sound doctrine into sound practice. Faith acts on the content of theology (knowledge of the Word) and produces conduct that corresponds to that content. Faith makes theological security experiential. This kind of faith or living hope can enable believers to rejoice even when they are called on to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
Peter stressed that a Christian's joy is independent of their circumstances.
Verse 7
First off I notice the wording, "These trials will show you that your faith is genuine." To me that means that when we face trials it is because we need to realize that our faith is real. God already knows that we are truly faithful. He doesn't use our difficulties to show Himself that we are faithful. It is to prove to us that we have the strength to endure bad times if only we will trust and lean completely on Him. I find that truly awe inspiring!
These various trials have two results: (a) they refine or purify one's faith, and (b) trials prove the reality of one's faith. Stress deepens and strengthens a Christian's faith and lets its reality be displayed (for all the world to see!).
Genuine faith is not only of ultimate value to its possessor, but it will also bring praise, glory and honor to the One whose name Christians bear.
Verse 8
Here is the climax of experiential joy that results from faith. God accomplished salvation through the work of His Son Jesus Christ. So the focus of a believer's faith is not on abstract knowledge but on the person of Christ. Peter's warm heart overflowed as he spoke of the love and belief in Christ of those who, unlike himself, did not see Jesus when he walked on earth. Though Christians do not now see Him, like Peter they love and believe in Him, and are also filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy. Even though we have never seen Him, we, as Christians, are to love Christ and who He is; what He has done for all humanity and what He continues to do for us every hour of every day. It reminds me of the verses from James 2:18-19: 18 But someone will say, "you have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder. It is not enough to believe that Jesus existed and is the Son of God. True faith involves a hunger/thirst for a deeper knowledge in the person of Jesus Christ. It involves total dependence on the Lord in good times and in bad times. But we don't need to prove our faith to God. He knows us better than we know ourselves. We show our faith by our actions. Our acts of faith are for our personal benefit and for the benefit of others. Without the Lord physically on the earth, how else are others supposed to learn about Him?
In conclusion, what are my hopes and dreams for 2013? At this point, I am not afraid of anything that might happen to come my way. One thing I have learned over the last year is that tough times are for my benefit and are awesome opportunities to bring glory to God. My hope is that my loved ones, my friends, my acquaintances, and even complete strangers can see my faith in the Lord; that it exudes from everything that I do. I also hope that everyone is drawn to the Lord and that they learn to find the joy that can come through complete dependence on Him in any circumstance.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Friday, November 30, 2012
Adversity
What is adversity in the first place? Here is the definition of the word: a condition marked by misfortune, calamity, or distress; an unfortunate event or circumstance.
Here are some synonyms to the word adversity: catastrophe, disaster, trouble, misery
So adversity is not something most people want in their lives.
Is my family currently facing adversity? Absolutely. But the amazing thing is I welcome the adversity. In the last several weeks I have learned a lot about suffering. When I was first fearing the worst with Kaylee's pale appearance, I would tearfully pray that God not let her be seriously ill. In my opinion, our family had been through enough over the last several years. All our trouble trying to move to Spain unsuccessfully. Being separated from Ryan for many, many months. Our struggles to add to our family...it seemed, at the time, that our list of struggles was already pretty long. I honestly felt that our family deserved a break from trouble. But wow, God has really been working on my heart and teaching me so many things in so many different ways in the last couple of months. I just want to give you a little insight as to what I have learned.
In a nutshell, we're all going to have trouble in our lives. What really matters is how we react to it and how we come out of it in the end. I could be bitter and shake my fists at God saying, "Why are you letting all this awful stuff happen to our family!" But instead, I choose to say, "Dear Lord, please show me your will and give me the strength to get through this. Help me to learn the most that I can from this situation and let it bring me even closer to you."
If you really think about it, when you do call out to God the most? Is it when things are going great in your life and you don't have a care in the world? Or do you find yourself praying more and conversing more and reading your Bible more when you are going through a tough time. Also, can you relate more to people who seem to have an easy life with nothing ever going wrong? Or do you find a kinship with others who are also facing difficult times. When we are going through a painful situation, people are more likely to notice how we react to it. A time of trial is a great opportunity to witness to others!
Think about the apostle Paul. He wrote many of the books in the New Testament from dire conditions. Most of the time they were from prison. And think about how he started out. He was one of the most intense and effective persecutors of the new church. But God chose him to be the one to teach us all how to live like Christ! Here he speaks about a 'thorn' which scholars have never been able to figure out what he specifically meant by that, but it is some kind of affliction.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NLT)
7....So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
10 That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
That is the attitude I am attempting to emulate. One of awe, humbleness, and openness to what God is trying to teach me. I am giving Him the control and casting all my fears and worries on Him.
I have much more to write on the subject, especially since I just finished a book by Dr. Charles Stanley titled When Our Children Hurt. But I am going to end with this tonight:
Why do I find pleasure in the adversity my family is facing? Because God is trying to draw us closer to Him. He is trying to refine us; to make us more like Christ. He wants to use us to draw others closer to Him.
1 Peter 1:7 (NLT)
7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
Here are some synonyms to the word adversity: catastrophe, disaster, trouble, misery
So adversity is not something most people want in their lives.
Is my family currently facing adversity? Absolutely. But the amazing thing is I welcome the adversity. In the last several weeks I have learned a lot about suffering. When I was first fearing the worst with Kaylee's pale appearance, I would tearfully pray that God not let her be seriously ill. In my opinion, our family had been through enough over the last several years. All our trouble trying to move to Spain unsuccessfully. Being separated from Ryan for many, many months. Our struggles to add to our family...it seemed, at the time, that our list of struggles was already pretty long. I honestly felt that our family deserved a break from trouble. But wow, God has really been working on my heart and teaching me so many things in so many different ways in the last couple of months. I just want to give you a little insight as to what I have learned.
In a nutshell, we're all going to have trouble in our lives. What really matters is how we react to it and how we come out of it in the end. I could be bitter and shake my fists at God saying, "Why are you letting all this awful stuff happen to our family!" But instead, I choose to say, "Dear Lord, please show me your will and give me the strength to get through this. Help me to learn the most that I can from this situation and let it bring me even closer to you."
If you really think about it, when you do call out to God the most? Is it when things are going great in your life and you don't have a care in the world? Or do you find yourself praying more and conversing more and reading your Bible more when you are going through a tough time. Also, can you relate more to people who seem to have an easy life with nothing ever going wrong? Or do you find a kinship with others who are also facing difficult times. When we are going through a painful situation, people are more likely to notice how we react to it. A time of trial is a great opportunity to witness to others!
Think about the apostle Paul. He wrote many of the books in the New Testament from dire conditions. Most of the time they were from prison. And think about how he started out. He was one of the most intense and effective persecutors of the new church. But God chose him to be the one to teach us all how to live like Christ! Here he speaks about a 'thorn' which scholars have never been able to figure out what he specifically meant by that, but it is some kind of affliction.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NLT)
7....So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
10 That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
That is the attitude I am attempting to emulate. One of awe, humbleness, and openness to what God is trying to teach me. I am giving Him the control and casting all my fears and worries on Him.
I have much more to write on the subject, especially since I just finished a book by Dr. Charles Stanley titled When Our Children Hurt. But I am going to end with this tonight:
Why do I find pleasure in the adversity my family is facing? Because God is trying to draw us closer to Him. He is trying to refine us; to make us more like Christ. He wants to use us to draw others closer to Him.
1 Peter 1:7 (NLT)
7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
The Treatment Plan
Isaiah 58:8
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be in your rear guard.
On Kaylee's birthday we found out that she is in remission. She could not have had better results from her bone marrow aspiration. They found 0% minimal residual disease in her marrow. So the induction phase of her treatment was successful. She also had 'favorable' genetics, which means that her chromosomes are responding very well to the treatment and are the type that will actually help her treatment from here on out be effective. So, she is still in the 'standard' (low) risk category and her prognosis is good. At least 85% cure rate.
So, you may be wondering, if she is in remission, why is she still getting treatment? Well, with Leukemia being a disease of the blood, it is pretty much everywhere in the body. So even though she had 0% MRD, she still has Leukemia cells in her body. Blasts are baby cells that are supposed to mature and eventually die. Everyone has them. In a Leukemia patient, there is an overproduction of blasts and for some reason they stop maturing and dying. From what I understand, the continuation of treatment is to kill remaining Leukemia cells in her body and to basically re-teach her blast cells how to mature and die. That is why her cytogenetics test was important. And why it was good that she was found favorable. I'm not 100% sure about that, but that is my understanding at this point. So, on to the treatment plan...
Kaylee is now in the Standard Consolidation phase. This phase lasts for 4 weeks and we will go to the clinic every Monday. She is now taking an oral chemotherapy drug called Mercaptopurine once a day. Ryan has to give her this medicine because it is not safe for me to handle any chemo drug. He even needs to wear gloves himself. But she is taking this in pill form that Ryan cuts into quarters, so she takes 6 of those in the evenings. Yesterday she got her single dose of Vincristine through her port. She will not need that again during this phase. She also got a spinal tap and a dose of Methotrexate into her spinal cavity. She will have spinal taps and Methotrexate the next two Mondays. Day 28 is the last day she has to take her oral chemo and the end of this phase (Sunday 11/25).
Next is her first Standard Interim Maintenance phase. This phase lasts 8 weeks and she only needs to visit the clinic every 10 days. At each clinic visit, she will get a dose of Vincristine and a dose of Methotrexate; both through her port. During her visit on day 31 (should be around 12/26) she will also get a spinal tap and a dose of Methotrexate in her spinal cavity. This phase will last through January 6th give or take a few days. Since it is every 10 days, some of those days fall on weekends, so the dates could be a bit off from here on out. I will come back and edit as needed.
Beginning January 7th is the Standard Delayed Intensification phase. This phase is also 8 weeks and I can see why it is named 'intense.' She will begin taking Dexamethasone (her steroid) again, but only in bursts on days 1-7 (1/7-1/13) and 15-21 (1/21-1/27). She will also go to the clinic on the first three Mondays for Vincristine, Doxorubicin (another chemotherapy) given through her port (January 7th, 14th, and 21st). On days 4, 5, or 6 (Jan. 10, 11, or 12) , she will get shots into her muscle of PEG Asparaginase (a chemotherapy she has gotten once before through her port when we were in the hospital at diagnosis). On day 29 (2/4) she will go to the clinic to get a dose of Cyclophosphamide (another chemotherapy) through her port. Also beginning on day 29 she will get Cytarabine (yet another chemotherapy) through her port as well. She will get this drug 4 days in a row on days 29-32 and then again on days 36-39. Since this is the case, they may send a nurse to our house on the days following day 29 so we don't have to run to the clinic 4 days in a row for two weeks (2/4-2/14). Also on day 29 she will begin taking a different oral chemotherapy called Thioquanine. She will continue these until the end of the 8 weeks (2/17). She will have spinal taps and intrathecal (spinal cavity) Methotrexate on days 1 and 29. After this intense phase she will repeat the previous phase, the Standard Interim phase for the next 8 weeks which will take us to March 31st.
On April 1st she will begin the Standard Maintenance phase. This phase should be the easiest. She will go to the clinic once every 4 weeks to get Vincristine into her port. She will take her Dexamethasone (steroids) twice a day only 5 days each month. She will take oral Methotrexate once per week. She will take the oral chemo that she is taking this month, Mercaptopurine, once a day every day. And finally she will get intrathecal Methotrexate and a spinal tap once every 12 weeks. This phase lasts 12 weeks and just keeps repeating for 2 years. The two year time period will not start until she begins her first Interim Maintenance phase on November 26th. So, she should be completely done with treatment (barring any complications or relapses) November 26th, 2014! But most of that time will be the Standard Maintenance phase, so it shouldn't be too bad. I think she will also routinely have bone marrow aspirations, but we don't know of any specific dates at this time.
She is supposed to also keep taking her Lovenox (blood thinner) for at least 6 weeks. That takes us up to the last week of November. They will do another ultrasound to see if the clot is gone and if it is she may get to stop taking the Lovenox. But it is also possible that she will take it intermittently throughout her treatment. It all depends. But this is the plan...
Jeremiah 17:14
Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for YOU are the one I praise.
Malachi 4:2
But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well fed calves.
We are still going strong, trusting God's will and faithfulness; trying to use this situation to bring Him glory; excited about the work He is doing in all of us through this trial!
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be in your rear guard.
On Kaylee's birthday we found out that she is in remission. She could not have had better results from her bone marrow aspiration. They found 0% minimal residual disease in her marrow. So the induction phase of her treatment was successful. She also had 'favorable' genetics, which means that her chromosomes are responding very well to the treatment and are the type that will actually help her treatment from here on out be effective. So, she is still in the 'standard' (low) risk category and her prognosis is good. At least 85% cure rate.
So, you may be wondering, if she is in remission, why is she still getting treatment? Well, with Leukemia being a disease of the blood, it is pretty much everywhere in the body. So even though she had 0% MRD, she still has Leukemia cells in her body. Blasts are baby cells that are supposed to mature and eventually die. Everyone has them. In a Leukemia patient, there is an overproduction of blasts and for some reason they stop maturing and dying. From what I understand, the continuation of treatment is to kill remaining Leukemia cells in her body and to basically re-teach her blast cells how to mature and die. That is why her cytogenetics test was important. And why it was good that she was found favorable. I'm not 100% sure about that, but that is my understanding at this point. So, on to the treatment plan...
Kaylee is now in the Standard Consolidation phase. This phase lasts for 4 weeks and we will go to the clinic every Monday. She is now taking an oral chemotherapy drug called Mercaptopurine once a day. Ryan has to give her this medicine because it is not safe for me to handle any chemo drug. He even needs to wear gloves himself. But she is taking this in pill form that Ryan cuts into quarters, so she takes 6 of those in the evenings. Yesterday she got her single dose of Vincristine through her port. She will not need that again during this phase. She also got a spinal tap and a dose of Methotrexate into her spinal cavity. She will have spinal taps and Methotrexate the next two Mondays. Day 28 is the last day she has to take her oral chemo and the end of this phase (Sunday 11/25).
Next is her first Standard Interim Maintenance phase. This phase lasts 8 weeks and she only needs to visit the clinic every 10 days. At each clinic visit, she will get a dose of Vincristine and a dose of Methotrexate; both through her port. During her visit on day 31 (should be around 12/26) she will also get a spinal tap and a dose of Methotrexate in her spinal cavity. This phase will last through January 6th give or take a few days. Since it is every 10 days, some of those days fall on weekends, so the dates could be a bit off from here on out. I will come back and edit as needed.
Beginning January 7th is the Standard Delayed Intensification phase. This phase is also 8 weeks and I can see why it is named 'intense.' She will begin taking Dexamethasone (her steroid) again, but only in bursts on days 1-7 (1/7-1/13) and 15-21 (1/21-1/27). She will also go to the clinic on the first three Mondays for Vincristine, Doxorubicin (another chemotherapy) given through her port (January 7th, 14th, and 21st). On days 4, 5, or 6 (Jan. 10, 11, or 12) , she will get shots into her muscle of PEG Asparaginase (a chemotherapy she has gotten once before through her port when we were in the hospital at diagnosis). On day 29 (2/4) she will go to the clinic to get a dose of Cyclophosphamide (another chemotherapy) through her port. Also beginning on day 29 she will get Cytarabine (yet another chemotherapy) through her port as well. She will get this drug 4 days in a row on days 29-32 and then again on days 36-39. Since this is the case, they may send a nurse to our house on the days following day 29 so we don't have to run to the clinic 4 days in a row for two weeks (2/4-2/14). Also on day 29 she will begin taking a different oral chemotherapy called Thioquanine. She will continue these until the end of the 8 weeks (2/17). She will have spinal taps and intrathecal (spinal cavity) Methotrexate on days 1 and 29. After this intense phase she will repeat the previous phase, the Standard Interim phase for the next 8 weeks which will take us to March 31st.
On April 1st she will begin the Standard Maintenance phase. This phase should be the easiest. She will go to the clinic once every 4 weeks to get Vincristine into her port. She will take her Dexamethasone (steroids) twice a day only 5 days each month. She will take oral Methotrexate once per week. She will take the oral chemo that she is taking this month, Mercaptopurine, once a day every day. And finally she will get intrathecal Methotrexate and a spinal tap once every 12 weeks. This phase lasts 12 weeks and just keeps repeating for 2 years. The two year time period will not start until she begins her first Interim Maintenance phase on November 26th. So, she should be completely done with treatment (barring any complications or relapses) November 26th, 2014! But most of that time will be the Standard Maintenance phase, so it shouldn't be too bad. I think she will also routinely have bone marrow aspirations, but we don't know of any specific dates at this time.
She is supposed to also keep taking her Lovenox (blood thinner) for at least 6 weeks. That takes us up to the last week of November. They will do another ultrasound to see if the clot is gone and if it is she may get to stop taking the Lovenox. But it is also possible that she will take it intermittently throughout her treatment. It all depends. But this is the plan...
Jeremiah 17:14
Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for YOU are the one I praise.
Malachi 4:2
But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well fed calves.
We are still going strong, trusting God's will and faithfulness; trying to use this situation to bring Him glory; excited about the work He is doing in all of us through this trial!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Always Watching Over Us
I had a rough mental/emotional night last night. As we were getting ready yesterday evening to take Kaylee out to dinner, she was just standing in the family room and her legs gave out and she fell down on her back. She got really scared and was having trouble breathing. I got her calmed down, but I also noticed that the swelling on her arm was as bad as it was this past Tuesday. So, with the weak legs and increased swelling, I had Ryan put a call in to Riley. They instructed us just to watch her and have her move around more during the day...that the shots of blood thinners she's getting can make her weak if she doesn't move around a lot. They also said to watch her arm for increased swelling, discoloration, and heat. Kaylee really wanted to get out of the house, so we took her out to dinner. The whole situation was very frustrating to me and that night as we were going to sleep I kept asking why? Why is Kaylee having to deal with this? She is a really great kid who has a great way with others. She is so good at making people smile and I miss her personality and energy that she had before her diagnosis. I worried about her childhood being taken away from her...I was upset because she was supposed to have a week without any medication and now she's having to get shots twice a day...it was just a rough night of asking why. I never doubted that God is in control of this situation or that He will help us through this...just why?
If there had ever been any doubt in my mind that God listens and cares about our pains, fears and doubts that was completely erased this morning. I really like watching In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley. I got up late, so I didn't catch this morning's whole episode, but I caught enough. His topic today was "Wisdom for Life's Trials" and I'm going to be quoting a lot of what he said, so here is the link to give him the credit: http://www.intouch.org/broadcast/this-week-on-tv/utm_source/itm/utm_medium/web/utm_campaign/home_top_slider
I immediately got the answer to why: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Amazing!
Dr. Stanley also pointed out several sources of the trials that we go through. They can be a result of poor decisions we have made, some can be caused by others, and sometimes painful things happen just because we live in a fallen world. He goes on to explain that ever since creation was corrupted by sin, sorrow has been one of the many consequences. And of course, some trials are brought on by the devil to make us question our faith. And sometimes the trials are allowed or brought on by God as a result of decisions we've made that were out of His will, or because we are already obedient and God does not want us to be stagnant in our belief. He always wants us to grow in our faith. However, regardless of the source of our pain and suffering, God ALWAYS promises that good will come of it. "As children of a sovereign God, we are never victims of our circumstances; our heavenly Father is in absolute control of everything that concerns us. With this in mind, trials should no longer be a source of anxiety or frustration for us because we understand they are His way of accomplishing His will in our lives."
Here are the other great points from his lecture:
"Understanding God's Purpose"
If there had ever been any doubt in my mind that God listens and cares about our pains, fears and doubts that was completely erased this morning. I really like watching In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley. I got up late, so I didn't catch this morning's whole episode, but I caught enough. His topic today was "Wisdom for Life's Trials" and I'm going to be quoting a lot of what he said, so here is the link to give him the credit: http://www.intouch.org/broadcast/this-week-on-tv/utm_source/itm/utm_medium/web/utm_campaign/home_top_slider
I immediately got the answer to why: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Amazing!
Dr. Stanley also pointed out several sources of the trials that we go through. They can be a result of poor decisions we have made, some can be caused by others, and sometimes painful things happen just because we live in a fallen world. He goes on to explain that ever since creation was corrupted by sin, sorrow has been one of the many consequences. And of course, some trials are brought on by the devil to make us question our faith. And sometimes the trials are allowed or brought on by God as a result of decisions we've made that were out of His will, or because we are already obedient and God does not want us to be stagnant in our belief. He always wants us to grow in our faith. However, regardless of the source of our pain and suffering, God ALWAYS promises that good will come of it. "As children of a sovereign God, we are never victims of our circumstances; our heavenly Father is in absolute control of everything that concerns us. With this in mind, trials should no longer be a source of anxiety or frustration for us because we understand they are His way of accomplishing His will in our lives."
Here are the other great points from his lecture:
"Understanding God's Purpose"
- To test our faith
- To test our devotion to Christ
- To purify us (Sometimes in stressful times our ugly sides can come out. This can be a time to realize these flaws and ask God to help us correct them)
- To demonstrate His love
- To produce a Christ-like spirit in us
- To equip us (to help others)
- God controls their length and intensity
- The Father has specific purposes for everything we experience
- The Lord designed each challenge to meet a specific need in our lives
- God will cause our trials to produce good, positive results in us if we respond in obedience
- Through trials, God strengthens our faith
- Difficulties are our opportunities to demonstrate perserverance under pressure
- Through challenges, God develops Christ-like character within us
- The hardships we face help us measure our spiritual walk with God
- The Father will be with us through every situation to accomplish His good
- God will always help us overcome our circumstances if we trust Him
Hurt and pain are inevitable while we are here on this earth, but we can always choose how we respond to them. We can blame others, turn to drugs and alcohol for relief, and throw our hands up in frustration. Or we can respond in the right way and view our trials from God’s perspective. This helps us realize our difficulties are opportunities for spiritual growth. We know that life will not always be easy, but because we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, He will see us through.
Thank you Lord!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Still Going Strong
Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Isaiah 40:31
but those whose hope is in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Psalm 46: 1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Psalm 28: 7-8
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy and I with my song I praise Him. The Lord is the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His annointed one.
Isaiah 12:2
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord Himself, is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation.
I just wanted to give a little update. We are almost through the intense induction phase of Kaylee's leukemia treatment. She has been doing extremely well. She has had minimal side effects from the chemo. Here are the side effects she has experienced: swelling in her face and abdomen from the steroids, a few mouth sores, extreme hunger, low energy, petechiae (pinpoint bruising on her skin), high blood pressure, and she has just begun losing her hair over the last few days. She is very self-conscious about her round face and belly. She was feeling pretty good one day last week and I asked her if I could take a picture of her so people could see she was doing well. She said no. She doesn't want people to see how different she looks. I have reassured her that her appearance is temporary. She gets to stop taking her steroids this coming Thursday. She will shrink back down as quickly as she got bigger.
Her blood counts the last couple of weeks have been very good. At our clinic visit yesterday, the doctor said she was pretty confident that her leukemia cells were gone. But we won't know for sure until after her next bone marrow aspiration which is scheduled for Friday, October 19th at 10AM. We will get the results from a special test that looks very deeply into all of her blood cells and checks for any small percentage of leukemia cells that could be hiding. We had the amazing priviledge of speaking with the doctor who pushed this specialized test to be used at Riley. She said that it had been used in Europe for years and she made sure that all her patients had the test done. It makes their following stages of treatment much more personalized instead of just being grouped into a specific category. This test shows how effective which types of treatment are specifically for Kaylee. It's truly amazing!
But Kaylee is doing well. She will get to spend 10 days during her birthday week without any treatments whatsoever. So during her birthday week, she should be feeling really good!
Alexis is doing really well too. She got invited to the Honors Chamber Orchestra at her intermediate school. She just brought home straight A's on her report card. She has a great group of friends. She just finished up her first volleyball season where she improved so much over the season. Now she is preparing to go on a family vacation with the Willman side to Club Med in Florida. It's her first vacation without us, but I am sure she will have an awesome time. We're all a little jealous she gets to go without us!
We also got to see our new little baby on October 5th. Kaylee got to come along for the ultrasound. We found out we are having a little boy! We are getting close on a name...I think we've narrowed it down to a couple of choices. We have decided that we are going to bank his cord blood because his stem cells would be the perfect thing to use should Kaylee have a relapse. Just another instance where God's timing is perfect! I will have another ultrasound on November 5th to check on a low-lying placenta. It will most likely move up as I get bigger, but the worst case scenario is a C-section. I am confident that things will be fine no matter the outcome on that.
Thank you all for your continued prayers, love and support. We are continually amazed by all the love you all have shown to us. It truly means so much to us!
God is in control...He is giving us strength!
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Isaiah 40:31
but those whose hope is in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Psalm 46: 1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Psalm 28: 7-8
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy and I with my song I praise Him. The Lord is the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His annointed one.
Isaiah 12:2
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord Himself, is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation.
I just wanted to give a little update. We are almost through the intense induction phase of Kaylee's leukemia treatment. She has been doing extremely well. She has had minimal side effects from the chemo. Here are the side effects she has experienced: swelling in her face and abdomen from the steroids, a few mouth sores, extreme hunger, low energy, petechiae (pinpoint bruising on her skin), high blood pressure, and she has just begun losing her hair over the last few days. She is very self-conscious about her round face and belly. She was feeling pretty good one day last week and I asked her if I could take a picture of her so people could see she was doing well. She said no. She doesn't want people to see how different she looks. I have reassured her that her appearance is temporary. She gets to stop taking her steroids this coming Thursday. She will shrink back down as quickly as she got bigger.
Her blood counts the last couple of weeks have been very good. At our clinic visit yesterday, the doctor said she was pretty confident that her leukemia cells were gone. But we won't know for sure until after her next bone marrow aspiration which is scheduled for Friday, October 19th at 10AM. We will get the results from a special test that looks very deeply into all of her blood cells and checks for any small percentage of leukemia cells that could be hiding. We had the amazing priviledge of speaking with the doctor who pushed this specialized test to be used at Riley. She said that it had been used in Europe for years and she made sure that all her patients had the test done. It makes their following stages of treatment much more personalized instead of just being grouped into a specific category. This test shows how effective which types of treatment are specifically for Kaylee. It's truly amazing!
But Kaylee is doing well. She will get to spend 10 days during her birthday week without any treatments whatsoever. So during her birthday week, she should be feeling really good!
Alexis is doing really well too. She got invited to the Honors Chamber Orchestra at her intermediate school. She just brought home straight A's on her report card. She has a great group of friends. She just finished up her first volleyball season where she improved so much over the season. Now she is preparing to go on a family vacation with the Willman side to Club Med in Florida. It's her first vacation without us, but I am sure she will have an awesome time. We're all a little jealous she gets to go without us!
We also got to see our new little baby on October 5th. Kaylee got to come along for the ultrasound. We found out we are having a little boy! We are getting close on a name...I think we've narrowed it down to a couple of choices. We have decided that we are going to bank his cord blood because his stem cells would be the perfect thing to use should Kaylee have a relapse. Just another instance where God's timing is perfect! I will have another ultrasound on November 5th to check on a low-lying placenta. It will most likely move up as I get bigger, but the worst case scenario is a C-section. I am confident that things will be fine no matter the outcome on that.
Thank you all for your continued prayers, love and support. We are continually amazed by all the love you all have shown to us. It truly means so much to us!
God is in control...He is giving us strength!
Monday, October 1, 2012
Do Not Worry
Romans 8: 17-18
And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
1 Corinthians 13: 7
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perserverance. Let perserverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Jeremiah 17: 7-8
But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted alont a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.
Jeremiah 29: 11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
I have a feeling that a lot of you are worried about us and how we are handling the situation of Kaylee's illness. I want to assure you that you do not need to worry about us. I will speak for myself in the rest of this post. I do not want to assume that Ryan and Alexis feel the same way.
I have ABSOLUTE faith that God is in TOTAL control of this situation. I am really more surprised than anything that God has the faith in me to handle this illness, a new baby and normal day to day things. But when I think longer about it, I realize it's not really me getting us through all of these things, it is ONLY God. He is giving me the strength to deal with this situation and how can I even doubt that I would be able to handle it with Him holding me up?
God has a perfect plan to get us through everything. Even if the worst case scenario comes to be (not that that is what I expect or hope for) I know God will carry us through even that and we will all be much stronger because of it. So that is not even worrying me.
So, please, don't worry about us. Worry only shows little faith that God is in control and is doing what is best in our lives. Trust me, He ONLY does what is best...even if we cannot see it at the current time.
Thank you for your continued prayer and support. I am sure I will have weak times when I will doubt, but I am human. But, most of the time I am able to find the joy in the situation. I am more curious as to how God is using this to His glory. Time will tell.
Love to you all!
And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
1 Corinthians 13: 7
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perserverance. Let perserverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Jeremiah 17: 7-8
But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted alont a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.
Jeremiah 29: 11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
I have a feeling that a lot of you are worried about us and how we are handling the situation of Kaylee's illness. I want to assure you that you do not need to worry about us. I will speak for myself in the rest of this post. I do not want to assume that Ryan and Alexis feel the same way.
I have ABSOLUTE faith that God is in TOTAL control of this situation. I am really more surprised than anything that God has the faith in me to handle this illness, a new baby and normal day to day things. But when I think longer about it, I realize it's not really me getting us through all of these things, it is ONLY God. He is giving me the strength to deal with this situation and how can I even doubt that I would be able to handle it with Him holding me up?
God has a perfect plan to get us through everything. Even if the worst case scenario comes to be (not that that is what I expect or hope for) I know God will carry us through even that and we will all be much stronger because of it. So that is not even worrying me.
So, please, don't worry about us. Worry only shows little faith that God is in control and is doing what is best in our lives. Trust me, He ONLY does what is best...even if we cannot see it at the current time.
Thank you for your continued prayer and support. I am sure I will have weak times when I will doubt, but I am human. But, most of the time I am able to find the joy in the situation. I am more curious as to how God is using this to His glory. Time will tell.
Love to you all!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
God Speaks
Every morning while we are waiting for the bus, I read the girls a devotional. Last Thursday was the day that I took Kaylee in to the Doctor, so it was just me and Alexis in the car. I had already suspected that leukemia was a possibility. You will just be absolutely amazed by what this devotional said. It is from Wisdom from the Bible.
The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward part of the belly (Proverbs 20:30)
A woman noticed a large red patch on her leg where she had been stung by a bee. Thinking little of it, she ignored the sting, until two days later her leg had swelled to twice its normal size and the red patch had begun to spread. She went to the hospital, and they rushed her into an operating room, where the leg was pierced and the infection was drained from her leg. The afflicted area was cut away, and the leg returned to normal within a few days, the wound healing within a few weeks.
Often, the only way to heal is to hurt. Operations shock the body, but the corruption must be cut from the sore or no healing will occur at all. The same is true of human beings in their relationship with God. God demands purity, and all corruption will be cut away to insure wholeness. There is no place for evil in the body of Christ. If evil is found, drastic measures will taken, and like a cancer, it will be removed. God will act as a skillful surgeon, cutting and putting back together again. What will be left will be better than new, and the body of Christ will be healthy for all eternity. Healing can occur no other way, but the Lord will be faithful to save as much as He possibly can.
PRAYER: Father, cut away all that is wrong in me. Though it might hurt, I would rather be able to heal than to sit and die in my corruption. Excise evil from my heart, and heal me in your tender love. Amen.
The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward part of the belly (Proverbs 20:30)
A woman noticed a large red patch on her leg where she had been stung by a bee. Thinking little of it, she ignored the sting, until two days later her leg had swelled to twice its normal size and the red patch had begun to spread. She went to the hospital, and they rushed her into an operating room, where the leg was pierced and the infection was drained from her leg. The afflicted area was cut away, and the leg returned to normal within a few days, the wound healing within a few weeks.
Often, the only way to heal is to hurt. Operations shock the body, but the corruption must be cut from the sore or no healing will occur at all. The same is true of human beings in their relationship with God. God demands purity, and all corruption will be cut away to insure wholeness. There is no place for evil in the body of Christ. If evil is found, drastic measures will taken, and like a cancer, it will be removed. God will act as a skillful surgeon, cutting and putting back together again. What will be left will be better than new, and the body of Christ will be healthy for all eternity. Healing can occur no other way, but the Lord will be faithful to save as much as He possibly can.
PRAYER: Father, cut away all that is wrong in me. Though it might hurt, I would rather be able to heal than to sit and die in my corruption. Excise evil from my heart, and heal me in your tender love. Amen.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Special Project
On the morning of July 2nd, the day after we got back from our month long vacation in Florida, we found out we are expecting our third child! Even though we were extremely excited, we decided it would be best to wait to tell anyone, including the girls, about the new baby until after I had an appointment with my doctor. I was able to schedule an appointment on July 13th.
July 13th finally came around...it was difficult not to tell the girls! Ryan came to my appointment because I was also going to get an ultrasound. During the ultrasound, the tech kept saying, "Man! You are early, early, early!" And below in the picture you can see why she said so...just a tiny speck:
The most amazing thing though was that we got to hear the heart beat!! She determined that I was about 6 weeks and she said it was extremely rare to hear a heart beat that early...but we did. God is amazing!
So we told the girls that night. I think at first Alexis was a little upset...but that only lasted about 5 seconds. Then we were bombarded with questions....they're so sweet. Now they are both really excited about their new little brother/sister. Kaylee says she wants to make video diaries for the baby and Alexis asked if she could write a blog for the baby. So keep your eyes open for Alexis's new blog!
Tomorrow, I begin my 12th week. I have already had to go out and buy maternity clothes. I'm pretty sure that's happened a lot earlier than with the girls. I'm beginning to get over the morning sickness, which as typical for me has been just nausea mostly in the evenings except for the worst weeks. Ryan was such a big help. He cooked, he cleaned, he ran the girls to appointments, he went grocery shopping, he did absolutely everything! I'm very, very blessed! But since I've been feeling better I've been taking back over.
I also started exercising again. Of course Crossfit is a little too intense for the pregnant set, but I've been using a sister site called Crossfit Mom. They scale the exercises especially for pregnant and post-partum women. My hope is that continuing to exercise will help keep my energy up during pregnancy and help me bounce back faster after delivery. I will be 36 when this baby is born, but I think I'm in better shape now than when either of our other two kids were born. Also, due to my "Advanced Maternal Age" as my Dr. put it, this baby is at higher risk for chromosomal defects. So we opted to have a level 2 ultrasound done at a special clinic that will take a lot of measurements that might be markers for those defects. I'll probably have that done in about a month. We'll also get to find out the sex of the baby at that time...hopefully.
We kept almost nothing from the girls' stash of baby things. But I think that is fine because at this late stage a lot of the items are probably not considered safe any more. Both Ryan and I think it will be nice this time around to actually be able to afford to buy whatever we need for the baby. That being said, he says I can do all the buying without any input from him, ha! I guess I've proven over the last 13 years that I have agreeable tastes.
We thank God for blessing our lives with this miracle. It was hard fought for and very hard to wait for. But God's timing is perfect and in hindsight, that is very easy to see. Don't give up on hope...have faith that God wants the best for you in your life. One of my favorite verses over the last year plus has been Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
July 13th finally came around...it was difficult not to tell the girls! Ryan came to my appointment because I was also going to get an ultrasound. During the ultrasound, the tech kept saying, "Man! You are early, early, early!" And below in the picture you can see why she said so...just a tiny speck:
The most amazing thing though was that we got to hear the heart beat!! She determined that I was about 6 weeks and she said it was extremely rare to hear a heart beat that early...but we did. God is amazing!
So we told the girls that night. I think at first Alexis was a little upset...but that only lasted about 5 seconds. Then we were bombarded with questions....they're so sweet. Now they are both really excited about their new little brother/sister. Kaylee says she wants to make video diaries for the baby and Alexis asked if she could write a blog for the baby. So keep your eyes open for Alexis's new blog!
Tomorrow, I begin my 12th week. I have already had to go out and buy maternity clothes. I'm pretty sure that's happened a lot earlier than with the girls. I'm beginning to get over the morning sickness, which as typical for me has been just nausea mostly in the evenings except for the worst weeks. Ryan was such a big help. He cooked, he cleaned, he ran the girls to appointments, he went grocery shopping, he did absolutely everything! I'm very, very blessed! But since I've been feeling better I've been taking back over.
I also started exercising again. Of course Crossfit is a little too intense for the pregnant set, but I've been using a sister site called Crossfit Mom. They scale the exercises especially for pregnant and post-partum women. My hope is that continuing to exercise will help keep my energy up during pregnancy and help me bounce back faster after delivery. I will be 36 when this baby is born, but I think I'm in better shape now than when either of our other two kids were born. Also, due to my "Advanced Maternal Age" as my Dr. put it, this baby is at higher risk for chromosomal defects. So we opted to have a level 2 ultrasound done at a special clinic that will take a lot of measurements that might be markers for those defects. I'll probably have that done in about a month. We'll also get to find out the sex of the baby at that time...hopefully.
We kept almost nothing from the girls' stash of baby things. But I think that is fine because at this late stage a lot of the items are probably not considered safe any more. Both Ryan and I think it will be nice this time around to actually be able to afford to buy whatever we need for the baby. That being said, he says I can do all the buying without any input from him, ha! I guess I've proven over the last 13 years that I have agreeable tastes.
We thank God for blessing our lives with this miracle. It was hard fought for and very hard to wait for. But God's timing is perfect and in hindsight, that is very easy to see. Don't give up on hope...have faith that God wants the best for you in your life. One of my favorite verses over the last year plus has been Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Outdoor Project: The Patio
We finally had our patio resealed! We had CTI Custom Concrete come and grind off all the old orange stain and they resealed the aggregate, so now it's just as pretty as when we first had it poured. On our smooth (original rectangular) concrete they sprayed a special surface to match the color of the aggregate and added a very nice brick colored border. It is definitely an improvement!
Friday, August 3, 2012
Project Update - Office and Garage
So the office is practically completed. I've had the room painted and furnished for about 6 months, but the french doors were just installed in June.
Now I just need to paint the doors and the office will be completely done.
This past weekend, Ryan got the garage floor refinished. It looks really good. He did a great job.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Laundry Room - Complete
Well, we have the laundry room completed. Below is the original list for the room:
Laundry Room - paint walls; touch up trim and doors; stack washer and dryer; install cabinets; install locker system; install ironing cabinet
Due to lack of space, I decided hang the ironing cabinet in our closet instead of the laundry room. I think it will be much more convenient in there anyway. I also haven't touched up the trim and doors yet because when I got out the trim paint we had left it was just a big chunk, ha! But here are some pictures:
Laundry Room - paint walls; touch up trim and doors; stack washer and dryer; install cabinets; install locker system; install ironing cabinet
Due to lack of space, I decided hang the ironing cabinet in our closet instead of the laundry room. I think it will be much more convenient in there anyway. I also haven't touched up the trim and doors yet because when I got out the trim paint we had left it was just a big chunk, ha! But here are some pictures:
 |
| Our stacked washer and dryer |
 |
| Tall Pantry Cabinet for storage |
 |
| The Girls' Locker Area |
Friday, January 6, 2012
Projects for 2012
This list is mostly for me. I want to keep track of all the projects I want to work on over the next 12 months. It will be nice to see what I can accomplish in a year's time.
I think that's it. If I run out of things to do, I'll add the kitchen to the list. I'm almost done with the laundry room. I still have the ironing cabinet to install (it hasn't been delivered yet) and I still need to touch up the trim and doors. The office project will be starting in the near future too since I already have the paint and the furniture is being delivered on Wednesday! This list should keep me busy. I may post pictures of the completed projects...maybe even before and after photos!
- Laundry Room - paint walls; touch up trim and doors; stack washer and dryer; install cabinets; install locker system; install ironing cabinet
- Office - clean carpet; paint walls; touch up trim; install new blinds; buy and place office furniture; buy and place floor lamp and other lighting; install french doors; organize; add decorative elements (paintings, etc); buy and install wireless printer; buy desktop computer and monitor or laptop docking station
- Living Room - clean carpet; paint walls; paint trim; install new blinds; buy and place furniture; tune piano; buy new lamps; add decorative elements
- Foyer - paint walls; touch up trim and doors; buy and place furniture and decorative elements
- Wood Floors - refinish
- Dining Room - clean carpet; paint walls; add chair rail; install new blinds; buy new curtains; add decorative elements
- Exercise Room - reprime ceiling and walls; paint ceiling and walls; finish out electrical; mount TV and U-verse; buy fan(s); dehumidifier and pipe run to drain; install french doors
- Basement (general) - clean all drywall dust from ceiling, walls, and floor; reprime ceiling and walls; paint ceiling; finish out light fixtures
- Garage - epoxy floors; install storage/cabinet system; install some blinds
- Backyard - reseal/stain patio; finish north edge bed; finish bed next to house; install/build firepit
- House exterior - buy and install new coach lights, front door lights, back door light, post light
I think that's it. If I run out of things to do, I'll add the kitchen to the list. I'm almost done with the laundry room. I still have the ironing cabinet to install (it hasn't been delivered yet) and I still need to touch up the trim and doors. The office project will be starting in the near future too since I already have the paint and the furniture is being delivered on Wednesday! This list should keep me busy. I may post pictures of the completed projects...maybe even before and after photos!
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